He is the author of Too Far North: A Northern Cartoon Odyssey, which received rave revues from its south central Alaskan reader(s). The initial press run sold out completely, which allowed the cartoonist and his family to pay for their return trip to the contiguous United States after spending the school year on the last frontier. (They missed the Alaskan summer, so they were never able to harvest enough mosquito pelts to sell to the tourists to cover their travel expenses.)
Celebrate the good life; then visit Fred Herring, Tom Duck, and the rest of the gang at www.oneandonehalfwits.com.
Here's a sample from Fred Herring's commentary on the 2004
presidential campaign:
Even without my contributions, the U.S. presidential
campaign and election of 2004 was rather bizarre. So, there was no reason for
me to stay out of the fray. Here, dear reader, are two campaign songs I penned
for the occasion. The first followed the Iowa caucuses (caucii, cockeye?),
early in the campaign when at least one party was still testing the mettle of
its favorite sons by smashing them into each other. The second was a
plaintive--as opposed to plaintiff--call to all citizens to exercise their
right to vote despite what they might think of either or both parties'
presidential nominees. A bonus, third song follows, which was sent in by our
reader in response to the first two. All three songs are to the same tune. [Mercifully, only the first of the three
songs is included in this sample.]
YOU'VE GOT TO GET THE VOTE
by Fred Herring
After the 2004 Iowa caucuses
To the tune of If I Only Had a Brain
Those Midwesterners have spoken,
Some candidates lie broken,
Their platforms didn't float;
They protest, "You mustn't mock us,
It was just a silly caucus!"
But they didn't get the vote
There's no photo, just a finish
For Gephardt and Kucinich
And all who missed the boat;
Let them rant about their ratings,
Call the news reporters Satan,
Still, they didn't get the vote
FIRST CHORUS:
Oh, I can tell you why
Iowa starts with "I",
That little word the candidates all cry
Much more than "do"
Much more than "die"
You can let your pollsters prattle,
Campaign among the cattle,
But, boy, you'd best take note:
If you want to see New Hampshire
Then you'd better rouse your camp, sir,
'Cause you've got to get the vote!
It's the ultimate showstopper,
Your campaign comes a cropper,
Your friends cease to promote
When you've held your biggest rally
But the exit polls and tallies
Show you didn't get the vote
Be not crude, but neither facile,
You'll just create a hassle,
And never, never gloat;
If the voters think you're wacko, they'll
Spit you out like tobacco
And you'll never get their vote!
SECOND CHORUS:
Oh, I can tell you why
Iowa starts with "I":
"I prophesy an infinite supply
Of chick in pot
Of pie in sky!"
So let all your pollsters prattle
And battle in the cattle
Footsore and sore of throat,
But I tell you, sir or madam,
Better hit the old macadam
If you really wanna, gotta gonna,
Kiss and shake hands with the fauna,
Really really really wanna
Get... the... vote!
