GERBILATION

I was sitting in the Vet's Waiting Room. In my lap was a shoe box which I knew darn well contained a thoroughly dead gerbil. Sitting beside me were three of my four children, nattily attired in p.j.s, bathrobes and winter jackets with hoods. Each was armed against the rigors of the night with one of those formidable weapons, the child's umbrella. (For the Child Abuse folks, be assured they were also wearing appropriate footgear.) Outside, it was pouring rain on this cold miserable night. The only good thing about all this was that the weather was so bad we were the only ones in the waiting room!

Let me fill you in. I was just finishing up the dishes after getting all the kids bathed and ready for bed. They were playing with one of the gerbils which belonged to their older sister, who was in the hospital recovering from pneumonia. Suddenly the relative quiet was shattered by a horrified scream, followed by a loud crash as I dropped the glass I was washing! Dashing into the living room, I discovered my three year old daughter frantically >trying to get a gerbil's claw unstuck from her robe ... it had pierced her >skin in it's owner's initial frenzied effort to escape.

I freed the poor critter but it was too late. I'm not a veterinarian, but it didn't take much of an IQ to tell this little animal had gasped it's last breath. I saw three little faces staring up at me in severe anxiety, as I petted it, and quietly announced that I didn't think she felt too great.

I interpreted the chorus of "Let's take her to the doctor!" as "Hey, we don't have to go to bed yet", until I looked at the deeply concerned faces with eyes now shedding a few tears. Looking out at the dark, cold, wet, windy night my mouth was opening to say "no way", when I was assaulted by a trio of voices pleading "Please!" with assorted versions of hysteria surfacing rapidly, fed by the lack of motion from the pet in my hand. What can I say, they won.

"Mrs. Leonard, you can come in now." We all gathered closely around the shoe box now sitting on the examining table. As I removed the top, the silence was so loud it hurt. The doc looked at the gerbil, looked at me instantly sensing that I was relying on him to handle this, so he expertly studied the pet, moved a leg or two, then solemnly announced that he was sorry, but this gerbil had departed for Heaven. The kids just stood there stunned! Doc tenderly asked if I'd like him to take care >of the funeral ... oh, yes, would I ever! I thanked him profusely and ushered my distraught and overly tired kids out the door.

Well, to back track a bit here, let me explain that the owner of this gerbil was the oldest kid and she didn't take kindly to having the others mishandle her stuff, including pets. They all knew there would be trouble, and I knew I didn't have a prayer of getting them to bed in this condition, so I suggested we try to find a replacement and maybe she wouldn't notice the difference.

So in the pouring rain, three weeks before Christmas, still, of course, wearing pajamas and bathrobes, off we sloshed to the nearest department store then another, and another. We finally located a store that actually had a couple of gerbils and a new problem. I told the clerk I needed a female. She said, "sorry, they are both males."

"Are you sure?"

"yes!"

"How can you tell?" I asked desperately, knowing that with young gerbils it was a tough call.

She assured me they were both males, so I bit the bullet and announced that I would take the one that looked the most like the recently deceased version. Weak smiles all around. Gathered up the kids and finally headed for home. Once there, I watched intently as I put the newcomer in with the other male, left them frantically examining each other, and hastily put the kids to bed, finished in the kitchen, and put me to bed fervently hoping these two males wouldn't kill each other by morning ... and none of the kids would be joining their sister in the hospital.

21 Days later, we were blessed with the appearance of 7 baby gerbils, and as I watched the EIGHT excited, happy eyes watching this miraculous event with great wonder, I marveled that the oldest sibling didn't know the real wonder.

"Gerbilation reigned supreme!

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Copyright BZ Leonard 2000, all rights reserved"